1. I am no longer allowed to wear my eyepatch to the left side so I can scare Finny. The hospital bills and emotional scarring are not as funny as the look on his face.
2. I can not do the same as stated above to the dorky Indians when they won't leave my hosue.
3. Nor can I do it to Lizzie, no matter how many times her hugs threaten to collapse my ribcage.
4. It is not proper for young earls to crossdress as girls when it is not for an assignment.
5. Sebastian doesn't care if it's a great way to get back at Druit. (seduce and kill!)
6. Even though Sebastian himself seems to get off on it...
7. If I even so much as think about allowing Pluto into the house the contract is over.
8. Or Sebastian gets my soul without me getting revenge.
9. No matter how badly I want to I cannot hire Grelle to kill Lizzie.
10. Nor may I use my butler's body as payment to said shinigami.
11. Stealing is wrong, especailly when it's opium.
12. Yes, it's techinically mine so it's not really stealing but apparently still illegal.
13. Sebastian doesn't care if it makes my tea taste better.
14. If there is a spider on something I am to properly dispose of it, not beat on the furniture until the furniture breaks.
15. Even if the spider has tiny little glasses and looks like Claude.
16. Prank calling Alois promising him a sleepover in my bedroom with the lights turned off is illegal in the Phantomhive/Michaelis household.
17. Calling Alois is prohibited. Period.
18. Grelle can't come over when Naked Fridays are in session.
19. Nor may I pay someone to document Naked Fridays with video recording equipment to post on the internet.
20. Cameras are a privledge. Not a right. Nor are they needed on Naked Fridays.
21. Writitng dirty letters to world leaders when bored is not 'constructive entertainment.'
22. The Secret Service don't appreciate it, neither does my butler.
23. I am not to steal and break Lizzie's handler's jingle bells during the Christmas holidays.
24. Sebastian doesn't care how much they annoy me.
25. When Elizabeth comes over I am to socialize, not place her in a circular room and tell her to sit in the corner.
26. Nor can I give her a tall ladder and instruct her to screw in lightbulbs.
27. Hospitals are not amusing, no matter how much I dislike whomever I sent there.
28. When at business meetings I cannot make paper airplanes and shoot them around the room.
29. No one buys the 'I'm just a little boy and I don't know what I'm doing' excuse anymore when they discover what I've written/drawn in the airplanes.
30. I'm not allowed paper at business meetings.
31. If I purchase toys they cannot look like me or Sebastian.
32. Sebastian doesn't care if it sparks interesting things to try at night.
33. I am not allowed to flaunt my butler to the Grelle.
34. Not may I tell Grelle in explicet detail what happens when he undresses me for 'bed.'
35. Sebastian and I are not nor will we ever be a 'couple.'
36. Not in public at least. :3
37. Undertaker's parlor is not a place I can send orphans to anymore.
38. It is not a good place to play hide and seek.
39. William's sythe isn't a hedge trimmer, back scratcher or skewer so I am not permitted to use it to roast meat and mashmellows on it.
40. Just because Grelle said it was 'Okay' doesn't mean it is.
41. Trips to the walking stick shop are to made brief, least last Wednesday repeat itself.
42. I am five foot one and need to come to terms with that.
43. Locking the cats in Sebastian's wardrobe with Bard's flamethrower is a 'no no.'
44. Running off with Sebastian's gloves is not a good idea.
45. Putting them in my pants and telling him to get them out using his tongue is an even worse idea.
46. Tripping Mey-Rin intentionally lowers her selfesteem therefore I should not do it anymore.
47. I cannot go to Church anymore.
48. Yelling obsceanities at the angel statues is not smiled upon in the Church of England.
49. Making naughty sounds in Sebastian's ear while he sleeps is not how I should get him in my pants.
50. I am to use the cat costume he bought me for that...